We don’t think that anybody ever literally died of boredom, but relationships can.
Boredom is when you and your partner have settled into a routine and you can’t seem to do anything differently. This routine has its benefits and serves a purpose.
If you’re like most people, you and your partner lead busy lives and there are a lot of people and responsibilities pulling at you. There is a lot to juggle and this calls for being organized so it can all get done.
Unfortunately, in the process of getting organized, the excitement of being intimate with your partner can get lost. Even when you make time to make love, it’s squeezed in at the end of the day when you’re both tired and maybe have one ear listening to make sure your kids don’t come walking into the bedroom.
It’s kind of weird to think that you might get bored when your life is so busy, but it happens.
The thrill of your partner’s kiss and touch will fade when it’s always in a particular way at a particular time. Even lovemaking may lose some of its allure for you because it’s usually on a Saturday night and follows the same pattern. Yes, it feels good to make love, but it can become a little boring.
When you and your partner are bored, either (or both) of you may begin to look outside of the relationship for a sense of excitement or thrill. This doesn’t necessarily mean cheating, but unfortunately, it can.
In order to prevent infidelity and because it’s so much more enjoyable to fully ENJOY intimacy with your partner, we encourage you to intentionally shake out the boredom.
Here are 6 sex tips to spice up your relationship!
#1: Plan for spontaneity.
If there’s one thing that’s exciting, it’s a pleasant surprise. Think about how great it feels when your partner reaches for you and presses you close for a passionate kiss for no apparent reason. Unless you’re annoyed with him or her, this is bound to light you up!
Because so many of us are so busy, spontaneity and surprise doesn’t happen too often (or at all).
Create regular windows of time (at least once a week) for whatever comes up. You can call this a date night or just an open space in your calendar that you truly keep open. Set aside that time for just you and your partner and then let your creativity flow.
#2: Don’t try too hard.
Please pardon our pun! When it comes to spicing up your sex life, don’t try too hard!
Relax about this and allow new ways to be intimate with your partner occur to you. If you are mostly worried about how bored you feel or how bored you think your partner is, this will squash the passion every time.
Instead, let go of your expectations about what you think your sex life “should” be and don’t get caught up in worries that your partner won’t like what you have in mind. Trust what you feel compelled to do.
#3: Keep it fun.
Be willing to be silly– in a sexy way. The key is not to take yourself or your partner or the whole idea of intimacy so seriously. Yes, your love and commitment to your partner are probably serious and important to you, but this doesn’t mean that your lovemaking has to feel heavy and serious!
Invite yourself to approach intimacy in a lighter and more playful way. Remember the times that you two have had fun and laughed together. Bring that sense of fun into the bedroom.
#4: Create a spicy mood.
If it’s a challenge for you to be lighter about intimacy, set the mood for it. Use music, candles, particular clothing and maybe even some simple decorations to create an ambiance for the kind of passionate moments you want to share with your partner.
You can do this in many different ways. Go for a sexy and seductive mood or one that is more playful. Choose music and other background elements that reflect what you’re going for.
#5: Start with touch.
Don’t rush things. In this busy culture, too many of us rush from place to place and we bring that sense of rush and hurry into the bedroom. Hurrying is definitely NOT going to break up the boredom.
Now that you’ve created a mood for passion, slow down and start with some non-sexual– but sensual– touch. You and your partner can trade back rubs or foot massages. Gently re-connect with touch and allow yourselves to move from sensual to sexual touches.
#6: Step out of your box.
Everybody’s got different preferences when it comes to intimacy. If you’re feeling bored with your sex life, it may be because you and your partner are stuck in a box.
Honor each of your preferences, but stretch a bit too. Be daring and step outside of what you normally do.
This might mean that you try out some sex toys or props that appeal to you. It could mean that you experiment with new positions. You two could also do some role playing.
This is a place where communication is vital. It’s not going to spice things up if you step into something that feels uncomfortable or even turns off your partner. But, be willing to suggest and try new things!
As you experiment, talk about what feels good and what is exciting. Go with it and enjoy!
Enjoying a Happier, Easier Relationship