Even though there are individuals who are billionaires today, a million dollars is still a LOT of money. If your income and assets are relatively modest, the idea of having a million dollars in your bank account may boggle your mind.
Imagine what it would be like to have an amazing amount of money and, with it, the freedom to be as generous as you’d like to be while having and doing what you’ve always wanted as well. What would your million dollar lifestyle look and feel like?
Now, imagine what it would be like to have a million dollar marriage.
Take the sense of freedom and abundance that would come if you had a million dollars and apply it to your relationship. What would it be like if your marriage was beyond belief amazing?
- How would it be to wake up every single day with your spouse and feel madly in love?
- What stimulating and rich conversations would you two have together?
- How would your lovemaking be?
- How would you two spend your time together?
Everybody has different preferences and will imagine their million dollar marriage uniquely. Just spend a few moments envisioning what YOUR million dollar marriage would be like. Get specific and have fun dreaming up what would thrill and delight you.
As you do this exercise, you may notice that you’re not having as much fun as you thought you would. Imagining your million dollar marriage and how things could be in your relationship may actually bring up stress or disappointment.
You may quickly revert to thoughts like this…
“In my million dollar marriage we won’t fight like we do now.”
“If we had a million dollar marriage we’d love one another unconditionally, but my spouse will never do that!”
“My million dollar marriage sounds great and totally impossible.”
What happens for many of us when we imagine having the kind of relationship we most desire is resistance and doubt. We think about what we want and then crash that vision with a list of why we could never ever have it.
You may have a lot of “proof” for why your million dollar marriage is impossible. The challenges with trust, communication, intimacy or another issue may seem too big to overcome. You may be wondering if you’d have to leave your marriage and start over to have a chance at the level of happiness and connection you’re craving.
Before giving up on having a million dollar marriage with your current spouse, try this…
Unblock your beliefs.
For many, many couples, the beliefs that they hold about themselves, one another and their marriage are a significant part of the problem.
Of course, you aren’t making this stuff up. Your partner does flirt or lie or ignore you or yell at you or whatever he or she does. You also really do certain things that drive a wedge between the two of you.
But, the beliefs that you each carry around make these unhealthy habits so much worse. This might include your belief that your partner will “never change” or that he or she is “incapable” of being the kind of lover or partner you really want.
Take out a sheet of paper and write down whatever first comes to your mind after you read these words: “My partner will never…” or “My partner is so….”
Complete whichever of these sentences that most resonates with you and then read through your responses. You’re probably going to see some patterns and reoccurring words in your written response. This will clue you in on what your beliefs are about your partner.
You can repeat this exercise two more times and substitute “I” for “my partner” and “my relationship” for “my partner.”
As you uncover your beliefs, ask yourself if they are blocking or allowing you to move closer to having the kind of marriage you really want.
Start living as if.
Next, invite yourself to start thinking, speaking and acting as if you CAN have the million dollar marriage you’d like to have. Even if it’s just for a moment, let go of your beliefs that you could never have the closeness, passion or easy communication and– in that moment– live as if you could…
Because you actually can. It might not happen immediately and it might not be simple or easy, but the relationship you really and truly want can be a reality for you.
When you live from what’s possible instead of what you tell yourself can never be, it’s more likely that you’re going to experience the kind of connection and love you want to share with your spouse.
This requires you to suspend your beliefs about what’s probable and to step out and take a risk.
You don’t have to take this risk blindly or in a way that makes you a doormat or a fool. You can acknowledge where you and your partner are now– including the good stuff and the not so good stuff– and you can keep that vision of what you want clearly in view.
You can make intentional choices about what to say and how to act that will line you up with your million dollar marriage instead of turning you away from it. You can appreciate the movement in that direction that both of you are making too.
Build momentum in this way and enjoy the abundance of your love!