If you want help stopping jealousy, our “No More Jealousy” book and audio program will give you the tools to stop it BEFORE it rips your relationship to shreds and you find yourself looking for a new partner or in divorce court.
Here’s the link to order or find out more…No More Jealousy Program
Okay–so you’ve felt your stomach (or even your whole body) tighten up when you see your partner getting a little too close to someone else, talking a little too long or even looking a little too much in his or her direction.
You get scared and that fear turns into nagging, suspicious words or you withdraw and become cold and silent.
You might even say you aren’t feeling well and need to go home without saying what’s wrong–even though your partner knows SOMETHING is wrong.
Then instead of letting your jealous fears go, they simmer inside you.
Your mind makes up all kinds of stories and it seems impossible to separate what’s true and what’s not true–so you don’t even try. Your mind just takes off on its own and it seems that you’ve completely lost control of it and your situation.
If you can relate to any of what we’ve just described, you probably get pretty angry and disgusted with yourself when jealousy hits you.
If this is true for you, we really encourage you to pick up a copy of our “No More Jealousy” program here because in our program we give you the absolute keys to stopping jealousy fast.
For now…
If you want to stop jealousy we invite you to do what we call a re-frame.
Here’s step one…
Find out what your jealousy is telling you.
If your partner has just talked a little too much about another woman or man and you’re jealous…
We suggest that you find out what your jealousy is telling you.
Right now, you might be saying something like this to us…
“My jealousy is telling me that my man (or my woman) is interested in someone else and he (or she) might leave me.”
If something like this is your immediate response, we want you to go deeper inside you.
Believe it or not, what’s actually happening when you feel jealous is that you are seeing something that you think someone else has that you really want for yourself.
Here’s how to find out what that “something” is…
Shift your attention from outside you to inside you. Pretend you have a flashlight in your hand. Now instead of shining that light outward, turn the flashlight around and point it toward your body.
Then ask yourself these questions and write down your answers without censoring yourself…
1. What is it that I am hearing or seeing that I want more of?
(Do you want to be looked at like “that” or Do you want that kind of attention?)
2. What would having “that” (whatever that is) say about me or prove?
(In other words, would that tell you that you’re loved or desired?)
Now, connect your jealousy back to something that you want to be different–and we don’t mean that your partner stop doing or saying something–although that may be part of it.
For right now, just stick with you and what you want MORE of.
As painful as it may be, ask yourself this next question…
3. What seems to light up my man (or my woman)?
And no, you’re not allowed to say a particular name or automatically put yourself down for not being like this other person–just stick to what you observe.
What might be something you can start doing more of that might bring you more of what you want?
Okay so maybe short skirts (or abs of steel) aren’t exactly your style, but maybe you can sit a little closer to your partner and be a little more physical with him or her.
In other words, what can you do more of to come closer to your partner.
Your chances of getting what you want more of increase if you at least give it a try.
If you try to “learn” from your jealousy instead of stuff it down, hide it, or let your fears rule your words and actions–
It just may disappear from your life.
The next time jealousy pokes you in the stomach, try learning what it’s trying to tell you.
