This well-meaning advice can cause you to become even more distant, upset or suspicious with your partner and can even cause your relationship permanent damage that can’t be repaired.
So what should you do?
What advice should you listen to and…
What advice should you ignore that could even make jealousy worse in your relationship?
There are many things we could say about this topic but…
If you want to heal jealousy and start reconnecting and creating more love and connection in your relationship and life…
Here are 4 pieces of advice that you should definitely ignore…
1. Make your partner jealous to get him (or her) more interested in you.
Wrong.
Talk about creating a powder keg ready to blow up at any time!
We’ve had people tell us over and over that this is their “big strategy” for bringing their partner closer and all we could do is shake our heads in amazement as they told us this with a straight face.
That may be their “big strategy” but the only problem is that they don’t seem to get what they want.
Here’s the bottom line on this one…
If you flirt with someone else hoping to get more of your partner’s attention, it will probably backfire on you.
Here’s another bit of not only outdated advice–but also just plain wrong advice…
2. It’s only the jealous person’s problem.
If two people are in a relationship and they interact with one another, they are bound to be in what can be called a reaction loop.
They react to one another in different ways, depending on past experiences, mental chatter, beliefs, and so much more.
So jealousy is just another way that people in a relationship react to one another that usually causes big problems.
But to say that it is one person’s problem is to close your heart and eyes to an opportunity to heal if you are with a person who is jealous.
Next…
Some people erroneously think (and in some cases actually believe)…
3. If your partner is jealous, it means he (she) loves you.
No, it doesn’t. It just may mean that there’s a pretty big self-esteem issue going on or whatever triggers their jealous behavior.
We’ve seen teens and young adults (some older people too) fall into this trap.
A seductive possessiveness that you interpret to be proof that he (she) cares at the beginning of a relationship can quickly turn into an abusive situation if both of you don’t get some help.
If some part of you gets an uneasy feeling that this reaction from your partner is a little “off,” pay attention because it really might be a signal that you reconsider this relationship.
Finally…
Another terrible piece of jealousy advice…
4. You have to control jealous feelings.
Trying to control jealous feelings is not only hopeless but it usually doesn’t turn out too pretty when you do.
When you hold back your feelings and push them down, it’s like pushing the lid down on garbage in a stuffed, over-flowing garbage can. Pretty soon, it erupts all over the place if you hold it down tightly enough.
If you hold your feelings in and pretend everything’s okay, without acknowledging what you are feeling–we don’t have to tell you that you will erupt–sometimes over the smallest, most insignificant thing.
And your relationship is worse off than before.
So don’t control your feelings but learn how to feel them and let them out in healthy ways which may mean talking about them — but maybe not.
If you do talk about your feelings, jealousy or any other relationship issue make sure you’re not tip-toeing or dancing around the issue or what needs to be said.
Quite often, people hold back on saying something they feel needs to be said out of fear.
If you want to learn how to talk to your partner (or anyone) without fear about what they’ll say, do or how they’ll react– you should read this now.
Here’s one more piece of advice about overcoming jealousy…
Find out what has worked for others and then feel into yourself if this piece of advice resonates with you.
If jealousy is a problem in your relationship, we advise you to take action–but take action that will actually move you toward the relationship you want and not away from it.
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Get jealousy advice you can really use in our free 7 Jealousy-Stopping Secrets here: www.NoMoreJealousy.com
