Here’s something many men do that they think works but doesn’t.We men think that this brings more passion and connection between us and our woman but here’s what I’ve found…
In the short term, it’s fun and exciting and in the long term it’s so potentially damaging to your relationship, you won’t even believe it once you realize how bad it is.
In fact, this usually backfires and when we do this, it’s no wonder we don’t get what we want from our women.
Let me explain what I’m talking about with a quick story…
Things were great for Rob and Regina in the early days of their relationship.
They seemed to really have a good thing going on.
They laughed.
They had a good time.
The sex was great.
They both had jobs that seemed to be really promising.
They had great kids.
Life seemed to be perfect and then something shifted between them.
But what went WRONG and WHY?
Neither one of them could really explain what happened and why the passion, love and intimacy was all but gone– but when I began working with Rob in my Relationship Breakthrough coaching practice, the reasons why they had a BIG shift in their relationship became crystal clear.
Competition.
And…
Here’s what happened and why it sucked all the life and passion out of his relationship…
Rob was a fun loving guy. He, like a lot of guys, loved his woman but he also loved to go out with friends, family, the guys, the people at work, social events and more.
He loved to have a good time but he also loved to “one-up” everybody that was in his life (including Regina).
All of us men are competitive at some level.
I watched a special on TV the other night where I saw two guys almost kill each other in an Ultimate Fighting Championship match and then three minutes later, they hugged each other with total respect.
Yes, it was brutal and love the UFC or hate it, it’s about competition.
But here’s my point about competition when it comes to lighting up your woman…
If you want to light up your woman? and get more of what you want both in and out of the bedroom–it’s going to be really important for you to understand that there’s no room for competition in your relationship with her.
So, ditch ANY competition with her.
But you might be saying “but I don’t compete with my women” or “there’s no competition between the two of us, we’re doing good.”
I say consider this:
Competition can take many forms and–
Any time you make HER wrong and You right, that’s competition.
Any time you remind her that you’re a better driver (or a better anything) than her, that’s competition.
Any time you get loud and start taunting her after you beat her at a “friendly” game of monopoly–that’s being competitive.
If your favorite team (the Saints) beats her favorite team (the Cowboys), don’t get up and start yelling around and acting like it was you who just won the next Super Bowl.
Enjoy your favorite team’s victory but don’t rub it in.
I’ve seen many guys do this and guess what?
It eventually kills passion in your relationship or marriage and here’s why…
You want to ALWAYS make sure your woman knows that the two of you are on the same team.
Make sure she always feels that you’re on her side and you’ve got her back.
Think of it like this…
If you’re with a woman, you’re not on separate teams.
You’re on the same team and she needs to feel it at all times.
At some level, she can’t possibly feel that love and support from you if, in any way if you are showing her that you’re better, stronger or smarter than her.
As I’ve said before, there’s no room in a committed relationship or marriage with your woman for competition with her.
The general rule is this…
Compete with guys, compete in your career, but not with your woman and this doesn’t mean that you always have to let things be her way.
Your relationship will suffer if you do that.
The spark will not be there between the two of you and the sex won’t be as good or as frequent (if at all) if you compete with her about ANYTHING.
The bottom line is this…
You should do everything in your powers to “ditch competition” (at least with her).
Your love, relationship, intimacy and connection depends totally on it.
If you want more information on high to light up your woman, get my free report “10 Keys to Lighting Up Your Woman” at http://www.LightHerUp.com
Enjoying a Happier, Easier Relationship