It sounds trite, but there’s always something you can learn from every experience. Often it’s the seed of a current or past “failure” that fuels you to the very success that you’ve always dreamed of. Past relationships give you a clearer picture of what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship if you take the time to examine them.It’s the power of contrast that living in an unfulfilling relationship may give you.
A woman we’ll call Connie brought her intimate relationship to an end after several years of turmoil with her partner. After the break-up, she realized what this relationship had taught her and that it wasn’t a “failure.”This relationship had helped her to define the type of partner she would really resonate with–someone who was on a similar spiritual path, someone she could have a deep connection with, and someone who loved to be with groups of people.
This partner who she left wanted to always be alone with her and she liked to be with people. They also did not have the same spiritual interests which created distance between them.
She learned to bless the relationship and let it go to make room for the type of partner she wanted to be with and to free her previous partner to find a more appropriate mate.
She learned that her relationship wasn’t a “failure” because of what it taught her about herself and her life- what she wanted and what she didn’t want in a relationship.
People come and go in our lives. Some people are with us for a brief instant, for five days or for fifty or more years. The impact of these relationships on our lives can all be great.
Sometimes we don’t understand why we are involved with someone in a particular relationship or why someone has such a hold on us. We don’t understand why someone comes into our life for a brief time and then leaves.
What we’ve learned is that if a relationship isn’t working out, it is not a bad thing or a failure that our society likes to label it. It just may be that you have learned what it is that you were supposed to learn by being in a relationship with that other person and it’s time to move on to other “lessons.”
We’re not suggesting that you take your relationships lightly and throw them away at the first sign of conflict–Quite the contrary.
What we are saying is that the purpose of all relationships is to help us to grow–personally and spiritually. Even the relationships that are the most troubling to us can be gifts in learning more about ourselves.
So instead of looking at a relationship that didn’t work out the way you had hoped as a failure, we suggest you look at it as a growth experience and move forward consciously by learning from it.
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For a free mini-course on getting over a relationship breakup or divorce, click here.