Can you stop jealousy without psychiatric intervention?And does it always destroy the relationships or marriages of people who find themselves mired in the muck of jealousy?These are good questions and …
If you’ve experienced intense, out-of-control feelings that can come up because of jealousy, we’re guessing that at times,
somewhere in the back of your mind, you’ve secretly asked yourself questions like these and probably even questioned your sanity.
If this is true for you, you’re not alone.
Jealousy can evoke feelings and actions that seem so out-of-the ordinary that you can start to wonder where the “real” you went and who this imposter is walking around in your skin.
>NOTE: Jealousy can ruin a relationship or marriage faster than almost anything. If you’d like some help dealing with your jealousy issues, you might want to go check this out: No More Jealousy
***QUESTION FROM A READER:
“Is it [jealousy] a psychiatric condition and will I ever get rid of it? I have now 6 relationships ended in tears because of my jealousy and I am 33 and want a family. I feel very down…”
>>>OUR COMMENTS:
Thanks for your question–because it certainly speaks to what many people feel when they are stuck in chronic jealousy that they can’t seem to stop.
According to clinical psychologist and researcher Ayala Malach Pines in her book Romantic Jealousy, jealousy “lies somewhere in the gray area between sanity and madness.”
While there certainly are some excessive reactions that can be considered “pathological jealousy,” Pines says that “for most people, even if jealousy produces tremendous pain and distress, it remains an inner experience that does not cross the boundary to violent action.”
So is jealousy a psychiatric condition?
Unless your actions are extreme and violent, it’s probably not helpful to look at it in that way.
Should that stop you from getting help?
Of course not. In fact, we think you should get help but first…
Let’s look at chronic jealousy which is what you’re describing.
Pines suggests that chronic jealousy indicates “a predisposition to jealousy that is related to childhood experiences and low self confidence.”
A healthy mind shift for you to make might be to first adopt the thought that there is a good possibility that you can heal jealousy.
Then check in with yourself to see if this “predisposition” to jealousy might exist in your life.
Did you have childhood experiences that involved jealousy and/or a parent who was unfaithful?
Do you have low self-confidence?
Here’s our advice…
You say that you want a family and we want that for you also.
Before you get into a new relationship, look at what is true for you and make the commitment to do what it takes to make the changes that are necessary to make a new relationship work.
As for the question about whether jealousy always destroy the relationships or marriages of people who find themselves dealing with it…
the answer is…
“Of course NOT…”
The people we’ve worked with and seen overcome jealousy are people who…
~ didn’t pretend it wasn’t a problem
~ had gotten to a place where they were willing to do what it took to solve this issue before it created even more problems (like destroy their relationship or marriage)
~ they were open to change
and..
~ they were willing to get help
Whether you take our No More Jealousy course, do Breakthrough coaching with us or choose to work with a therapist face-to- face in your area–
Take a positive step forward to a better life.
Even though you are down right now, we urge you to reach inside you for the motivation to change and healing.
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Our free 7 Jealousy-Stopping Secrets can be your first step to feeling better and creating the kind of close and trusting relationship you really want. Go here to get it today: http://www.NoMoreJealousy.com
