Assuming you’re in a marriage with someone you love and really want to be with….
AND…If you knew it would end in 24 hours, and you wanted to make those 24 hours as special as possible…
What would you do or what would you do differently to make that happen?
We recognize that this is certainly the kind of question that nobody really wants to think about but….
We’re asking you to think about it right now because it’s important and here’s why…
It’s important because your answer could change the course of your relationship and life forever.
Because our relationship is the most important thing in the world to us, we thought about this question when we watched a movie recently.
The movie was one we had seen many times but its impact on us is always big.
The movie we’re talking about is the 1998 Meg Ryan and Nicolas Cage film “City of Angels.”
Without spoiling the plot for you, it’s about death, loving and living life to its fullest– appreciating the preciousness of every moment.
This beautiful story caused us to ask the question “If we knew our relationship would end in 24 hours, what would we do differently?” of ourselves…and we’re asking it of you.
If you’re in an intimate relationship, we invite you to answer the following questions and take our “24-hour wake-up call” challenge…
Again, the question is…
“If you knew your relationship would end in 24 hours, and you wanted to make those 24 hours as special as possible, what would you do or what would you do differently to make that happen?”
*Would you let go of blame and judgment?
Blame and judgment show up because of our differences, our expectations of what the other “should” have done or do.
They show up in sarcastic, harsh words, a cold tone of voice and in actions that push the other person away–showing the other how wrong he or she is.
It might be that we withhold love or appreciation to demonstrate our disapproval–sometimes in very small ways but they all add up to disconnection.
Even if you have more than 24 hours together, how would it be if you didn’t blame or judge?
*How much kinder would you be?
Would you treat your partner in a way that shows how precious he or she is to you?
Stopping to look in your partner’s eyes and listen is one way to show kindness.
*Would you make connecting with your partner more important than spending a few extra minutes on Facebook tonight?
While connecting with lots of other people is important, how important would it be if you only had 24 hours with your partner?
Even though you may have years more with your partner, become conscious of how you spend your time and who you spend it with.
*Would you tell the truth that’s in your heart or hold back?
We all hold back some things from time to time for all sorts of reasons but what would you say to your partner if you only had a few hours left?
Saying it now might be what your relationship needs to breathe new life into it.
If you have trouble saying what’s true for you, our “Stop Talking on Eggshells” can help you start expressing what you’ve been holding back in a loving way that your partner can hear it.
*Would you make love with an open heart and body like you’ve never done before?
Many of us don’t really know what making love with an open heart and body might feel like.
As an experiment, take a moment and think of a newborn baby you’ve seen recently or a puppy.
What’s the feeling in your heart right now?
Is it joyful and open–soft and tender?
If you got something like those feelings, what would it feel like if you carried that feeling into love-making with your partner?
What might that look like?
Instead of perhaps looking like obligation, it can look precious and cherishing the moment.
We invite you to experiment with this idea.
*Would you forgive yourself and your partner?
During that 24 hours with your partner, would you start all over without the shadow of the past?
Would you let go of whatever resentments you’ve been holding on to that has kept the two of you from being as close as possible?
You can do that now even though you may have much more time together.
Just decide to.
At one point in the “City of Angels”, Nicolas Cage’s character Seth was asked whether it was worth it or not. (We’re not telling you what the “it” was.)
Seth said this about his love for Meg Ryan’s character Maggie…
“I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.”
We wish you many years together but our wish also for you is that those years be precious and lived in love.
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