What if you could know (before it happened) that a tire on the car you were driving was about to have a “blowout” that would be so violent that it caused you to have a wreck?
Would you want to know what was coming before it happened so you could avoid a potentially dangerous wreck?
Of course you would.
But what about your relationship or marriage?
Have you ever said or done something and instantly you just knew that you had pushed someone away?
Have you ever been at a loss for why passion suddenly cooled between the two of you?
Then you may have been using a “passion eraser” without even knowing it..
Passion erasers cause relationship wrecks and if you’re not familiar with this term…
A passion eraser is anything that you think, say or do that reduces or eliminates passion and connection from your
relationships and your life.
One of the biggest things that people who get our Should You Stay or Should You Go? book and audio program notice about their relationship toward the end is that something has happened to “erase” the passion from their relationship and life.
A passion eraser can certainly be many things and it can even be a belief that holds you back from giving or receiving love.
Most of us don’t take the time to find out what our particular passion erasers are.
But what we know is that we all have to stop using them if we want closer, more connected relationships and happier lives.
Here’s some of our best relationship advice and a few examples of “Passion Erasers”…
*A passion and connection eraser can be small, seemingly insignificant things like interrupting someone consistently while he or she is speaking.
*A passion eraser can be much bigger things like lying or infidelity.
*A passion eraser can be “gotcha,” sarcastic remarks that leave both or you feeling unappreciated and unloved.
*A passion eraser can even be staying in a job that you hate that robs you of your enthusiasm and zest for life.
*A passion eraser can simply be keeping yourself so busy that you don’t have time to connect with those you love.
*A passion eraser can be automatically pulling away when your loved one reaches out to hug you, pull you close, or touch you because you’re “too busy,” “too tired,” or “too” anything.
*A passion eraser can even be when your partner gives you a compliment and you deny that it’s true because you don’t feel good about yourself.
So here’s our question to you…
What’s your particular passion eraser? We all have them.
Here are a few suggestions for identifying yours…
1. Pay attention to your feelings.
Look at them as indicators of what’s going on inside you that you may need to listen to. Do you get a sinking feeling or agitation when you talk about money with your partner or maybe when you come home from work and see a messy house?
Pay attention and then begin honestly addressing what is nagging at you that you may have been ignoring.
2. Pay attention to your physical symptoms.
One woman wrote to us that she consistently had heart palpitations and her eye twitched when she went to work.
If something like this is happening to you, get checked out by your physician and then take an honest look at how you are
dealing with a work or home situation.
What thoughts need to be shifted? What can you do to ease the stress of your situation? Do you have unhealthy
expectations of yourself or of others?
3. Begin looking at how you spend your time and if you are spending your time the way you want to–that’s healthy for you–according to your values and not someone else’s rules.
There’s no more powerful passion eraser than living your life according to someone else’s rules and harboring resentments.
An assessment of your time can help you make a conscious decision if you want to keep doing what you are doing.
4. Pay attention to your thoughts and self-talk.
Are you constantly telling yourself negative things about you or others in your life?
If you listen in and pay attention to your self-talk, it can certainly be eye-opening.
What we tell ourselves does tend to manifest in our lives.
Our advice today to you (and to ourselves) is to look at what robs you of passion of all types in your life. Start bringing in more of what brings you passion for living and see how your happiness grows.